DEEP MEANINGFUL PENETRATION!

DEEP MEANINGFUL PENETRATION! What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others!

Today, I fucked up… by eating my roommate’s donuts

Reblogged from today-ifuckedup

today-ifuckedup:

So my roommate and I were playing video games together, and I decided I wanted something to snack on. I got up and looked through all our cupboards, and found a half-eaten bag of mini powdered donuts. After bringing them over to the table we were playing on, my roommate said something like “Oh hey, I forgot about those.”

Apparently he had bought them a few months ago and never finished them. That should’ve been enough to make us throw them away, but we were hungry, so we thoughtlessly started eating them. The second thing that should’ve stopped us from eating the donuts was that they tasted funny. But we figured it was just from being a few months old, so we shrugged it off and kept eating them. About half an hour later, when we got to the bottom of the bag, there were only a few donuts left. My roommate looked in the bag to make sure he knew where to grab a donut from, when he stopped in his tracks and had this “Oh shit” look on his face.

He passed the bag over to me, and I looked in. In the bottom of the bag was a dead spider. And it wasn’t your average tiny house spider, it was a pretty decent size. That’s when it hit me: The donuts tasted funny because they were all COVERED in spider webs, and because the donuts were also covered in powdered sugar, we didn’t even notice. Seeing the spider in the bottom might have made me gag a little, but when I realized I had just eaten a bunch of spider web, I nearly vomited.

We immediately chucked the bag away, and I spent the next few minutes retching in the bathroom, hoping to puke up the donuts from hell, but to no avail. I am now scarred for life, and it’s safe to say I’m never going to eat powdered donuts ever again.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

Reblogged from irrational

psychofactz:
“Follow DidYouKnowBro.com For More Interesting Weird Fun Facts
”

Reblogged from psychofactz

psychofactz:

Follow DidYouKnowBro.com For More Interesting Weird Fun Facts

westcoastavengers:
“Venom Vs. Superman | Daniel Dahl
”

Reblogged from westcoastavengers

westcoastavengers:

Venom Vs. Superman | Daniel Dahl

Reblogged from psychofactz

Reblogged from just-shower-thoughts

just-shower-thoughts:

If Hogwarts is the finest, high class school for witches and wizards I’d love to see a spinoff movie of one of the more ghetto, inner-city magic schools.

Reblogged from fluorideuraniumcarbonpotassium

italian-luxury:
“ Bonjour Paris
”

Reblogged from fluorideuraniumcarbonpotassium

italian-luxury:

Bonjour Paris

Reblogged from fluorideuraniumcarbonpotassium

Reblogged from fluorideuraniumcarbonpotassium

c0deine-king:
“♛ ملك الكوديين ♛
c0deine-king.tumblr.com/
”

Reblogged from fuckyeahgregorio

c0deine-king:

♛ ملك الكوديين ♛
c0deine-king.tumblr.com/

Reblogged from fuckyeahgregorio

(Source: urbanrealism)

Reblogged from fuckyeahgregorio

supamuthafuckinvillain:
“this how you win in life
”

Reblogged from sunshineeonacloudydayy

supamuthafuckinvillain:

this how you win in life 

Reblogged from everybodycrieslove

cooking-puns-and-gay-stuff:

phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess:

sevvey6:

morbidamusement:

captain-snark:

bananamerlin:

maderadearquitecto:

Thermochromic table by Jay Watson

imagine banging someone on that table

imagine being home alone and seeing imprints on that table

noooooo stop

Imagine having a friend sit at that table for a long while, but when they get up there’s no imprints at all.

What if you got up after trying to console a crying friend, and found that you had no imprints… and they were crying because they missed you?

image

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